Choosing the Right Words to Comfort Someone Grieving
When a person loses a loved one, it is one of the most difficult times of their life. They are going to need your support. Having flowers delivered to your friend with a sympathy card is a good first step to letting your friend know that you are there for them. Using florists to send funeral flowers may not be enough. Your friend is also going to need you by their side. If you are like many people, you may not know what to say to your friend after their loss. If you truly want to comfort your friend and help them get through the grieving process by doing more than sending sympathy flowers, there are a few tips that you should follow.
Accept Your Friend's Feelings
It is important that you let your friend feel their own feelings. Rather than telling your friend how they should or shouldn't feel, let them break down. If they want to cry, let them cry. If they want to get angry, let them get angry. Grief is a strong emotion and it comes out in various ways. Allow your friend to feel their feelings. It is a very important part of the grief process.
Don't Pressure Your Friend
When some people are grieving, they don't want to cry, yell, or say anything at all. If your friend wants to sit in silence, let them. Just being there can sometimes be enough. A reassuring hug or a squeeze of the hand may be all that your friend needs while they are grieving.
Let Them Talk About the Loss of Their Loved One
It is common for a grieving person to want to tell their story again and again. They might even want to tell you every detail of the incident. If they want to talk to you about this, you should let them. Psychologists say that repeating the story is a person's way of realising what happened and accepting their loved one's death. Each time your friend tells the story, their pain will lessen a bit. If you sit by your friend's side and listen, you will be helping them heal.
Offer Comfort Without a Comparison
One thing that a grieving person doesn't want to hear is that you know what they are going through. Even if you have suffered a similar loss, they won't want to hear about it. It isn't all about you and your own experience with loss isn't going to help your friend. Everyone is different. Everyone's relationships are different. Rather than comparing your friend's grief to your own, you should offer a shoulder to cry on without any unsolicited advice. Instead of talking about your own experience, ask your friend how they are feeling. Let them open up about their loss. The more your friend talks, the better they will feel.
Offer Practical Assistance
There are times what you do is more important than what you say. You can ask your friend if there is anything that you can do for them, such as call friends or family members, bring them something to eat, and offer to help them order the funeral flowers if it is their responsibility. Even doing a load of laundry and straightening up the house will go a long way. When a person is grieving, simple everyday tasks can be difficult. If you offer to help with these things, it will help your friend get through the day a bit easier. When they see that you are there and consistent in your offers, when they are ready to talk, you will be the one that they turn to.
Continue Your Support After the Funeral
Just because the funeral is over, it doesn't mean that your friend's grief has passed. For some people, the grief process can take months and even years. You should keep in touch with your friend as much as possible. Ask them often how they are feeling and be there to listen. Send flowers on special days, such as your friend's loved one's birthday, the holidays, and the anniversary of the person's death, make your presence known. Let your friend know that you understand how hard these days are and that they can turn to you in these times of need.
You can send funeral flowers after a friend loses someone they love. It will show your friend that they are in their thoughts. It is important that you understand that sympathy flowers and funeral baskets aren't going to be enough to get your friend through this difficult time. If you follow the tips listed above, you can help your friend get through the grieving process and they will know that they aren't alone.